The Invisibility of Brown on Brown and Black on Brown Interracial Relationships

*Disclaimer, these are my opinions, based on my experiences and observations and I want to make it clear that I embrace and celebrate all loving relationships, mixed race or not.

Are you like me, looking for information on interracial relationships between people who aren't white? Do you usually find little to nothing about brown/brown or black/brown couples? I suppose you could chalk it up to the fact that interracial relationships, although on the rise, do comprise a small percentage of married couples, but I've always found it interesting that the black/white or brown/white couples are simply more visible in the media. Check out this USA Today article. Note how the categories are disaggregated by White/other, but other mixed is all lumped together. Also, check out that slide show. To me this doesn't paint a comprehensive picture of who is connecting to whom. Okay, so you can't be too harsh considering the source is USA today, but google anything on interracial marriage and you'll see that the first photos that pop up are of a white woman or man and often an African-American (or Asian) significant other. I guess if you're both brown, it's not as big of a deal? Are we invisible? Does a stark skin tone contrast or difference in phenotypical characteristics have to exist for people to acknowledge a relationship is mixed? I always have these questions. Mainly because I think, while these representations are not inaccurate, it does take away the voice of those who are categorized as "the other" and happen to find love with each other.

As you can see from previous posts, I am a lighter complexioned black woman(I use the term black purely in the racial categorization sense. My husband is a darker brown Sri Lankan man--sometimes when he has a hair cut short he's actually been mistaken for an African American guy. Most people don't look twice at us (to our area's credit, it's a very diverse place to live to begin with). [I can only recall one incident when a black man confronted me about why I didn't like black men--my response, "I like good people" and he couldn't argue with that.] I'm okay with that, but I do find the coverage of the increasing number of interracial couples to be very limited and biased toward a white perspective. Especially if you're a black woman. Black women are often lamented as limiting their dating and marriage partners to black men, who often wander over to the "other side," the world of white women. And we're often perceived as undesirable to white men (whatever, just take a walk in Baltimore :)!) I personally hate this narrative. It's a very limiting (and invalid) view of black women, our beauty, our talents, our versatility, and our diversity. We're very capable of dating outside of the black race, but it's a matter of choice for some and opportunity for others. I'm not convinced that men of other races do not find black women attractive--although I'm a bit biased. :) But back to the original topic--Black and brown and brown/brown couples are often ignored in the big discussions about interracial couplings, in my opinion, which is one reason I wanted to start writing this blog. We non-white, mixed race couples are here, we have a voice, and most importantly, we love each other. We deserve to be represented and have our identities acknowledged.